Sex is an integral part of the human experience. And for far too long, the topic has been clouded in stigma, shame, and judgment.
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Sex negativity is taught in abstinence- and fear-based school sex education programs.
It’s preached by religious leaders and instilled by many parents. It’s in the shows and movies we watch and policies our governments pass. And it’s harmful at every level.
The sex-positivity movement aims to change that.
“My personal working definition of ‘sex positivity’ is operating around the topics of human sexuality, health, and pleasure with respect and without shame or stigma.
This includes gender identity, orientation, sex education, nudity, relationship styles, body positivity, safer sex, reproductive equity, and much more,” says.
“Historically, it was common for sex to be viewed from a moralistic (based in sin) or medicalized (based in sickness or disease) framework.
Through these lenses, otherwise natural and healthy sexual desires and behaviors are something to be repressed, controlled, or cured,” explains sociologist and certified sexologist Sarah Melancon, PhD with The Sex Toy Collective.
That’s where sex positivity comes in.
Howard believes the term “sex-positive” became popular in the late 1990s as the more “palatable term” for the sexual liberation movements of the 1960s.
“It’s a more culturally responsive framework and respects human variance as it applies to gender and orientation in ways that ‘free love’ did not.”
Melancon adds that the sex-positive movement developed in response to concerns about patriarchal influences on cultural views regarding sexuality.
Feminist in nature, the goal was (and is) to encourage the healthy sexual expression and relationships of women and people of all genders.
Sex-positive examples
Examples of sex-positivity may include:
- Exploring your fantasies
- Enjoying the sensations in your body
- Communicating your sexual wants and needs to partners
- Prioritizing a healthy sex life in relationships
- Developing a positive relationship with your body and body image
- Setting healthy sexual boundaries with yourself and others
- Advocating for your own sexual health, using safer sex practices when needed
- Addressing unhealthy sexual patterns, such as compulsive or impulsive behaviors
- Accepting the consensual sexual behavior of others rather than judging
- Supporting laws, policies, and norms that ensure consensual sexual freedom rather than unhealthy restriction or repression
- Supporting comprehensive sex education in schools
Sex negative examples:
Sex negativity is everywhere, and it’s easy to internalize. But it’s important to notice when it pops up so you can stop it in its tracks.
How can you tell if you or someone you know is sex-negative? Obvious and subtle signs of sex negativity may include:
- Using STIs or sexualities as punchlines (think: asking if someone’s rash is herpes or calling someone “gay” as a joke)
- Assuming anything that’s not heteronormative is a sign of a mental health condition
- Believing anal sex is only for people who identify as gay
- “Slut shaming” women (or shaming anyone engaging in consensual sexual behavior)
- Victim-blaming for sexual assault
- Advocating for punishment or violence toward sex workers or LGBTQIA+ people
- Considering sex and sexuality to be “dirty,” “sinful,” or other negative adjectives
- Referring to heterosexuality and being cisgender as “normal,” “natural,” or “regular”
- Making negative comments about another person’s body, partner, style, or identity
What sex positivity means in today’s culture
“Sex positivity has grown in today’s culture thanks to the internet and social media, but people are still very limited in the ways they apply it to their daily lives,” says Howard.
For example, she notes that some people may support gay and lesbian equity but draw the line at gender equity.
LGBTQIA+ people currently cannot safely express themselves in certain countries around the world. A sex-positive culture can uplift marginalized communities and support everyone in exploring their identities and sexualities without shame.
Research from 2016 also suggests that the current criminalization of sex work in countries including Uganda, Brazil, and Nigeria has a negative impact on sex workers’ health and safety.
If decriminalization (not legalization) passes, this can lead to safer working conditions for sex workers and those whose work is sex-adjacent.
“Moving through the world in a way that makes space for others makes one a kinder member of society,” says Howard.
“Sex positivity, when done correctly, permeates every aspect of society.”
According to The World Health Organization (WHO)Trusted Source, a person’s sexual environment and outlook can impact their well-being — for better or worse.
Due to sex-negative messages in media, family, religion, or education systems, many people feel ashamed of sexual desires and behaviors that are perfectly healthy, Melancon says.
“Sex positivity can help a person disentangle the source of their sexual shame and uncover their true feelings.
This can allow [them] to create a healthier relationship with their sexuality, enjoy greater pleasure, and reap the physical, emotional, and relationship benefits of a happy sex life,” she explains.
It can help a person in a sexually marginalized group feel affirmed as well, says Howard.
Research Trusted Source shows that something as simple as using a person’s chosen name (and the right pronouns) can reduce symptoms of depression and suicidal thoughts or behaviors.